recap 2011,

this year, i've offered and surrendered every single thing in my life to the One who created me, and right when He began to do so, i questioned His character.

i expected being single to be empowering, that i was strong enough to not always give in to what i wanted, and i thought moving to california would be easy and exciting. once i was single (starting last october), i made a few foolish decisions - but took advantage of last christmas vacation to re-start my strength. coming back to school in january i was not nearly so easily swayed or convinced.

in february i met someone who would go down in history as the one to break my heart the very most, and to single-handedly screw up a lot of how i viewed myself. (but i thank God so much for him, because he forced me to line up my worldviews with those of the Lord.)

in march i had enough money to decide between getting myself a sweet little puppy, or go on a short vacation to visit one of my best friends in california. i chose california, and it was one of the best decisions i've ever made. while there, i spent a week surrounded by an incredible community of Christ that led me to decide that maybe the Lord was leading me here: my parents had begun pursuing missions, i didn't have a steady job in pa, so why not?

in april i began being courted by - although i didn't know it at the time - my future husband, and we had our first "date" watching ten things i hate about you and munching on haribo golden bears.

in may i finished my third semester at community college, said goodbye to friends and family, and moved to southern california on the last day of the month. i also got to enjoy my last first kiss with the man of my dreams, waiting for me in the airport baggage claim.

in june i officially went ring shopping for the very first time with dan, and took my first day trip to disneyland.

in july i got engaged! my best friend came to visit before moving up to canada with her husband, and i was finally able to begin planning my dream wedding.

in august i applied for an amazing job in a small beach town at a newspaper, had two interviews, and was blessed with the job! i was blessed with a tiny studio apartment in walking distance from my work place, and four blocks from the beach. and i also got to take my fiance back to my hometown in pa for our engagement party!

in september my momma came to visit dan and i in california, and i found my dream wedding gown.

in october i celebrated my soon-to-be husband's 25th birthday, and every single one of my plans fell through. it was tough, but we had fun and made the most of it.

in november i traded in my old flip-up, keyboard phone for an iphone. and i also spent thanksgiving away from my pa fam. holidays away from home are tough.

in december i'm turning 22, i'm celebrating my very first Christmas away from my parents, i'm getting married to the most incredible man, and i'm struggling.



sometimes being too deep a thinker can be a bad thing. sometimes, i catch myself over-analyzing decisions, people, and emotions in my life. sometimes, i push myself into guilt over the depression i'm experiencing when all of these blessings are so huge and so evident in my little life. dan spoke such truth to me last night specifically about this topic - i feel as though it was from the mouth of God. he told me that (and i can do it no justice, i apologize) this is my biggest passion and my biggest gift, that i am so set on pleasing the Lord and doing what He requires that i will think and think and be concerned with it to the point of physical sickness until i have His perfect answer. dan also, in such humility and love that it nearly blew my mind, told me that i have to put him above my parents. that i now no longer have the same responsibility to my parents, but an even bigger responsibility to him. to hear him say that brought such peace and calmness to my soul, because i saw no selfishness in that. it was absolutely incredible.

i'm so thankful we chose december 31 as our wedding date, because i feel like it totally symbolizes the passing of our single life into the coming of our married life. God has waited through most of our engagement for dan and i to battle through certain things, but now has been showing me lessons that will change how i treat and see dan forever. i'm so very excited. 2011 has been the toughest year of my life, but i'm glad it's been lived. i'm very happy it's now time to move on and start a new year, a new life, a new family.